She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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