a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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