youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I will pee on everything he values.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
