The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
