That's intense
this beer tastes like vomit already
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize