Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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