Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize