What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
