I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
