so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
The air taste purple.
Randomize