So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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