That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
