tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize