It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize