For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
