a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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