my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
