I want to stick my p in your. b.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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