Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize