Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
