there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
not ubering you a puppy
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
