I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
