I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
