Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
