YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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