just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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