She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize