Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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