idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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