It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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