Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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