Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
