just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
