How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
