dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
i now understand why vodka
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
