Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
