Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
