so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
