You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize