Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
