I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize