May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
