yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You ate ashes out of my bong
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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