if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I could make wine with my vomit
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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