HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She told me I should be a condom model.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
