Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My balls are so social today.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
why is half of my head shaved?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
