How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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