You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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