I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
