I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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