i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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