you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
