Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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