should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
