Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
